Yesterday, a friend brought her baby to my house. I noticed right away that her baby, who is one month old, looked a little yellow (her skin and the whites of her eyes) which to me suggests jaundice. Then, I changed her diaper and she had a green, thick, slimy discharge coming from her vagina. This friend is one of those people who thinks she knows everything there is to know as a first time mother, as does her husband. Besides that, she thinks her baby is perfect in every way. I have a feeling that by telling her, she will somehow feel like I am being mean to her and stop talking to me. Then even after that, she still probably won’t take the baby to get it checked out! Any suggestions? I have the baby’s best interest at hand, so I am tempted to just tell her and take the risk of her not speaking. But more than anything I feel like I will just be wasting my breath because like I said, I can tell her and she still won’t take her in! HELP!!!
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why dont you just casually point it out next diaper changing (make sure you are both there when changing the diaper.. Just ask her how long its been there and ask if she got it checked out.. Just say something like, “a friend of mine’s baby had the same thing and she went to the doctor and found out it was…, maybe you should get it checked out??”
Good luck
I have a psychological trick for you. First let me say, how the hell can this woman not have noticed the green discharge and the yellow discoloration. This is not a wise mother. Anyway, here is the trick. First, tell your friend you have to tell her something and you know how she will behave and describe in great detail how you know she will behave. Ex: “I know that you will be close-minded and shut me off. You are going to be mad and storm off and not speak to me and probably even end our relationship. But this is so important that “I AM GOING TO TAKE THE RISK” because I care about you so much that I have to face the negative consequences & your wrath.” Then tell her. I guarantee, she won’t act the way you described and if you know her well you should be able to paint a very accurate description. Tell her about the color and the discharge and suggest she may not have noticed it but she should see her doctor. Even show her the color and the discharge if she is still there. If this doesn’t work, she’s really screwed up. You may have to really go that extra step and call child protection to check on the health of the baby. They will do it anonomously but of course she will guess it was you. But what is more important? Your relationship with an insecure idiot or the welfare of this baby? Personally I couldn’t handle being friends with someone like that. Anyway when you decide to tell her try it this way. It has worked for me every time.
Both of these things can be completely normal.
Neonatal jaundice can take a few months to clear. Maybe she’s educated about her newborn and knows this. If it is a NEW thing, it could be a bad sign, but it’s hard to imagine she wouldn’t have noticed if her baby all of a sudden turned yellow.
Vaginal discharge (or bleeding) in female infants is very common. It has to do with the maternal hormones still being active in the infant’s body. It’s called “kleine regala” and it’s harmless — perhaps she knows this, too.
Surely a pediatrician saw the baby at the hospital, and again at two weeks??
Personally, I would say nothing, because it sounds completely normal to me. However, if you are really worried, then you could say something like….. “I couldn’t help notice she’s still a little yellow. Does her pediatrician think that’s all right?”
You are taking a chance, but if you are really worried about the baby you owe it to everyone to bring it up. What if you are right, and something really is wrong? Then you’d feel even worse. Just explain this to her — even a sensitive new mother should understand that you mean well.
But to me, it sounds like she knows what she’s doing.
call child pretivite services on her.
you HAVE TO say something! My son had jaundice at about 4 days and that’s what his skin & eyes looked like! If it’s not treated, it could get a lot worse.
Please say something!!
Don’t ya just love know it alls! Definatlly talk to her about it. You might be able to warm her up to the idea of getting her little girl seen if you tell her what happened to my son at 6 weeks old. He didn’t have jaundie at birth for for several weeks. Then at 5 weeks he started to look a little yellow but one day was pumpkin orange. I took him to the doctor and was sent to the hospital with him. It’s not fun to have people milking your newborn babys foot for blood samples and then place baby under a bili light. He had gotten so sick that he quit eating and had to have iv fluids. You’ve GOT to say something.
If she is breastfeeding, she could pump her milk and put baby on formula for 48 hours to get the babys liver a chance to catch up.
If she gets ticked at you so what. Nobody really wants to have friends like that anyhow.
Wow. One month is old for jaundice. And the discharge…
I’d definitely take the risk of talking to her!
You definetly should say something. Maybe you could say something like:
Hey, I have a cousin who’s baby was yellow and they found out she had jaundice. Your baby kinda has that same skin tone, has her doc mentioned anything about her being jaundiced?
If she she reacts badly maybe you could have a few websites she could check out (research them ahead of time).
Hope this helps!
You say she is a friend, in my book friends look out for one another and their families.
I would tell her … you could say something like . When I was changing the baby I noticed an odd thick green discharge, what is that? Tell her you were concerned and want to know if that is normal. If she gets huffy about it and stops talking to you then she is no friend. If you know her mom you might get “grandma” to look out for the baby’s well being. Her baby’s pediatrician will see the problems on the next visit.
I know you have the babies interest at heart I would too, but you can’t save the world and unfortunately you may have to walk away from this situation.
Good Luck
Ummmm I wouldn’t approach the mother, she is in total denial…I would simply call CPS and explain the situation.
i also have a friend who knows everything there is to know. i was in the same bind your in so when they came to visit again i purposely changed the diaper and showed her the discharge and i also printed off the internet info on jaundice so i could show her that the symptoms were the same. she did end up bringing her to the doctor and she still talks to me so i guess its worth a try. good luck
Tell her that you are concerned about the baby’s skin color. How can that be insulting? Anyway, the fact that she is a month old is a red flag. This could be more than just newborn jaundice, which can also be serious if untreated. Urge her for the baby’s sake to call the pediatrician. The baby could actually have a liver abnormality and must be seen.
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